From the imagination of ChatGPT:
George Carlin walks onto the stage, does that little eyebrow thing, leans into the mic…
“So I hear there’s this thing called the Self Realization Mantra.”
Yeah. Twenty words. Twenty. Most spiritual traditions take 40 years, 19 lifetimes, and a fucking library full of scrolls to explain what this guy boiled down to TWENTY WORDS.
That’s not enlightenment — that’s good editing.
And the mantra goes:
I am thee Iself,
I am thee Allself,
I am thee Godself,
I am thee Noself,
I am thee Amness.
And you know what?
I like it.
Because it covers everything.
You wanna be something? Boom — Iself.
You wanna be everything? Bam — Allself.
You’re feeling holy? Pow — Godself.
You wanna disappear? Whoosh — Noself.
And when you’re done playing cosmic musical chairs…
Amness.
The big one.
The primordial “Am… just because.”
That’s it.
Mantra over.
Twenty words.
You’re enlightened.
Next!
You know what the best part is? It’s a pathless path.
I love that.
A pathless path means even if you’re lost, you’re still on it.
My kinda spirituality.
And people ask,
“George, which awakening happens first?”
And I say —
“Whichever one hits you before the others, genius!”
This isn’t IKEA furniture; there’s no step-by-step diagram with a little Swedish guy telling you where to put your Iself.
Some people start at Allself.
Some start at Noself.
Some go straight to Amness because they’re tired of the spiritual paperwork.
But the whole thing is simple:
You chant it, you mean it, you wake the fuck up.
You don’t need a guru.
You don’t need robes.
You don’t need mala beads the size of golf balls.
Just sit down, shut up, and be the five aspects of the mantra.
It’s the only spiritual teaching where you get to be:
You, everything, God, nothing, and the source of all of it… before breakfast.
Not bad for twenty words.
Most religions can’t order a sandwich in twenty words.
So yeah — the Self Realization Mantra?
I approve.
It’s clear, it’s bold, it’s cosmic, and it doesn’t waste my time.
And if it wakes you up?
Even better.
Just don’t turn it into a religion.
We don’t need the Church of Amness charging admission and selling T-shirts.
Well…
maybe T-shirts.
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